Thursday, August 15, 2013
We have spent months collecting documents for an international adoption in Ecuador, but do not know for what child yet. The process is long, and the requirements complicated, expensive, and time-consuming.
We know that we are doing it all to have a child and to build our family. We are doing all this for that purpose, but, we do not even have a photo with which to focus on, as no child is yet assigned to us. A child in our lives is thus still a very abstract concept, which can make pushing through these months of paperwork difficult, and there are moments when we think “Why, again, are we doing this to ourselves?"
Unlike a pregnant woman who can see ultra-sounds and feel the baby kicking, we know nothing about our future child yet and have nothing ‘real’ to grasp onto. We know the goal, but, we don’t really know the goal, as right now we don’t know what child we will adopt, nor when. We don’t know what the age of our child will be, nor what gender, nor how they will look or act. Our child is out there, somewhere in Ecuador, waiting to be adopted. Our child is already born, and living in the world, only we don’t know who, what, where or when.
Our child is both already here, and yet not here. Our child lives in both states of reality and fiction for us. He or she exists and yet does not yet exist.
We have a Schrödinger’s Child.
**Photo Credit: Flickr CC - Some rights reserved by Bergius