Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Some Billiant Posts on International Adoption - Must Reads

I was watching the movie 'What to Expect When Expecting' and was horrified at the inaccurate portrayal of the adoption process. They barely took a chip off an iceberg. Let's look at the reality of this...

It is a very long, very stressful, and very complicated process. It takes years and years, and there are no certainties. And, the child you bring home will have delays both medical and educational due to having been in an orphan.

Further, the cost is exorbitant. I wish they would have mentioned in that movie that it costs (at a minimum) around $30,000 to adopt, and goes up to $50,000+ dollars, and takes years and years to happen. People spend their entire family savings just to adopt one child. It costs as much or more as well for IVF, surrogacy, and other family planning options. There are many ethical questions surrounding these costs and blocks to having a family.

The foster care system is filled with children from birth parents that did not take care of them - but those who cannot get pregnant have to spend their entire savings and go through complicated invasive exams and scrutiny just to adopt one of those children in need of a home; procedures which the government says are to protect the child but only seem to serve leaving the child in an orphanage even longer than is necessary.

And THEN people say and ask the most uncouth and rude things, such as:
  • "Is that your REAL child?"
    • No lady, it is my robot child! :/
  • "I could never adopt because one never loves a child as much as their birth child."
    • Let's look at the statistics on how many birth children are neglected and abused each day... enough said. Blood does not equate to love nor good parenting. Period.  
  • "How much did your child cost?"
    • We don't buy children. We pay for legal fees and orphanage support, just like you paid for hospital bills when delivering your baby. (Hint: Ask how much the PROCESS has cost, not the child). 
So, to help educate the masses (since that movie failed horribly), here are a few of my favorite blog posts about some of the ethical and philosophical (and just plain logical) questions and concerns surrounding adoption... questions we discuss every single day:
  1. The Measure of Time: The wait is the hardest part of adoption. 
  2. Dear Friends of Adopting Moms: Your friend is not crazy. She is adopting. 
  3. How Much did YOUR Kid Cost?? (Please think about what you say before you say it!!)
  4. 11 Things NEVER to say to an Adoptive Parent: 
I found these blog posts to truly cover some important topics which I hope that my entire family and friends, at the least, will all read before they meet our adoptive child. 

**Photo Credit: Flickr CC - Some rights reserved by Hobvius

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